Friendship and Romantic Attraction



Social Cognition
Vocabulary
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Introduction Friendship and romance can be very difficult subjects to deal with. For many people it is difficult to find and maintain friends and even more difficult to find and maintain a love interest with someone. Friendship Although there are varying types of friendship, in this web-page we will be dealing with friendship as if there is only one form. For this web page we will define friends as "persons who know and like each other".
Facts on Friendship
Romantic Attraction Romantic attraction is a little more varying than friendship, and a whole lot more difficult to understand. Romantic attraction can range from being purely platonic (emotional) to being physical (sexual) to any combination of the two. Sexual attraction can be capricious, as it often is in "puppy dog love" (a crush), or it can be long term, as it often is in the case of lust. Platonic love is more like friendship. In fact, it can be somewhat difficult to distinguish platonic love from friendship.
Facts on Romantic Attraction

Facts on Friendship We all need friends at one point or another in our lives, because as humans we are social creatures. It's true that some people are less out-going than others, but that does not mean that these people don't need companionship. We all meet friends through the acquaintance process. When we meet people we subconciously assess them, which lends new importance to the thought that it's best to make a good first impression. There are three main reasons people become friends. These three main reasons are similarity between individuals, proximity (phsyical closeness) between persons, and mutual attraction. Word Definition Example

Similarity
The degree to which people agree with each other
    People  who  practice the same religion have 
similar religious beliefs.
Proximity
The distance people are from each other
    People  who  live  in  the same neighborhood 
have  a  higher  proximity  than people who live 
in separate states.
Mutual Attraction
The degree to which individuals like each other and sense that they are liked in return
    If  a  person  thinks  that someone dislikes 
them  that  person  has  a  low  sense of mutual 
attraction.



	  Friendships  are an important part of  life.   Friends  help  us 

      through tough times and make the good times seem better.   Sometimes 

      friendships don't last very long, so we should enjoy them while they 

      last.  Sometimes friendship develops into something more.  Sometimes 

      friendship turns into love.






Facts on Romantic Attraction Like friendship, love is important to people. We like to love and we like to feel loved. You may have heard phrases such as "love makes the world go around". To a certain extent that is true. Every day the media bombards us with messages about what love is. Many songs are about love. Hundreds of papers print "personal ads" for people who are said to be looking for love. Why? Because love is important. Today it is widely accepted that there are six types of love. These six types of love were first proposed by Sheila Lee in 1977 and have been tested over and over. The six types of love can all occur at the same time in varying degrees. Nobody experiences only one type of love at a time, but rather a mixture of all six, with one or two forms of love being dominant and the others being secondary. Type of Love Definition Description

Eros
Passion and Commitment
    Strong physical and emotional attraction.  
Strong commitment to partner.  "Love at first 
sight" type of relationship.
Ludus
Game Playing
    Love  is a game.   Partners  deceive  and
manipulate one another.   Partners  keep each
other uncertain about their commitment to the
relationship.
Storge
Love as Friendship
    Friendship  and love are merged into one.  
Partners are best friends.
Pragma
Calculated Mate Selection
    Systematic  search  for  love.    Desired 
attributes   of   partner   are   considered.  
Partners share similar goals and interests.
Mania
Emotional Intensity
    Often  based  on  lack  of  confidence in 
one's  self  and  of  others.  Partners often 
have  trouble  focusing on anything but their 
relationship.
Agape
Selfless Caring
    Non-demanding, giving relationship.   One 
would  rather  let  themselves feel pain than 
allow their partner to suffer.





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